Acing the Interview: a presentation

Acing the Interview: a presentation

by Angela Webber

Once Upon a Weekend Submission

Fall 2009: Oct. 18

“Saboteur”
Acing the Interview: a presentation

NARRATOR (NAR) (male/female): Authoritative, cocky, speaks in a very presentational way (almost fake, but not quite). Wears nice, but not office-professional clothes: perhaps khakis.

PROSPECT/JEFFREY (P) (male) is lovable, sympathetic, but changes throughout the scene according to the narrator’s description. Dresses in a very professional suit.

HIRING MANAGER/ANDY (HM) (female/male) is reasonable, but strict, professional.

FAMLY MEMBER (FAM) (female): dressed obviously unprofessionally (revealing dress, logo t-shirt, tie-dye, or something), this person is the mother/compassionate father of PROSPECT.

FORMER EMPLOYEE/JORDAN (silent character): (male/female) out-of-work programmer: messy (has been in a basement eating Cheetos for days, possibly weeks). Sloppy nerdy/pocket-T t-shirt, cargo shorts or equivalent

INTERIOR, OFFICE, DAY. HIRING MANAGER and PROSPECT sit across from one another at a desk, such that it is obvious PROSPECT is interviewing for a job. There is a door behind the desk to stage right, through which actors can enter and exit. There are papers on the desk, including PROSPECT’s resume and a list of questions the HIRING MANAGER is asking from and making notes on. Also on the desk, a phone, other basic office supplies, a computer monitor or similar prop. PROSPECT is dressed professionally, but in this portion has his shirt untucked so he looks a bit sloppy. NARRATOR sits forward on the stage, close to the audience, so he/she can walk in front of the action. When he is not speaking, NARRATOR watches the scene unfold behind him.

(fade up from black, en media res.)

P: (nervously, with lots of far-too-long pauses) …and though I don’t have experience with Photoshop specifically, I’m sure I could learn it quite quickly, since I, um, have been to college and can learn, things, very quickly.

HM: (skeptical of Prospect’s ability to do the work, but doesn’t want to be mean as Prospect is obviously nervous.) I see. That’s great! Here’s my next question: How have your previous positions provided you with the skills relevant for this position in our marketing department?

P: Well, it would be great if you hired me. See I’m… have… a marketing degree, and I can do marketing excellently. Please?

(lighting switch to focus on NARRATOR)

NAR: Hohoho (expected, fake laugh…) I bet you could see what went wrong THERE. Hi. I’m Mr. Anderson, and I’m here to help. The truth is, most people sabotage themselves in their first job interviews. I’m here so you don’t have to be “most people.” Jeffrey just demonstrated one of those typical “rookie mistakes”… don’t show your weakness! They can smell it! Hohoho… I’m just kidding…. of course. Let’s watch another scene… and see how it goes this time around. Let’s try a little more confidence, Jeffrey!!

(lighting switch to focus on DESK: PROSPECT now has his shirt tucked in and looks much more professional as a result. He now has a briefcase on the floor next to his chair.)

HM: Why are you interested in this position?

P: (with great confidence) Thanks so much for that question, Andy. Let me tell you—I think a position in the marketing department of your fine company is an important step in my career. Frankly, can I be honest? (HM does not react, P goes on quickly) – I’ll be honest, I don’t think I should take this job. But in this economy, there are so few Marketing Managerial or CEO positions that are in solid form… I think I’m going to have to start at the bottom, and I mean not just because your company is so small and relatively insignificant, but the position…(looks at pocket) Is that me? (takes cell phone out of pocket) Oh, hold on just a second, Andy. (answers phone) Hey doll—no, it’s fine, it’s fine of course! I’m going to have to give you a ring later, alright?—Yes I’m doing great… as always. Hahahaha! (hangs up the phone.) Now, where was I? Ah yes…

(lighting switch to focus on NARRATOR)

NAR: Oh no, Jeffrey! Now you’ve gone too far! Never lose your professionalism! So… so far we’ve learned that you need to strike that balance: show your confidence without being cocky. But the interview is more than just how you talk…. It’s also what you say. Let’s try that again, and this time you try to spot everything that goes wrong.

(lighting switch to focus on DESK: PROSPECT is now wearing a fedora)

P: I’ve always admired the work your company does, providing decorative houseplants to orphans in underdeveloped nations. I, like you, understand that it’s the small things that really make a difference in the lives of children. And that’s why I would embrace an opportunity to work with you.

HM: (smiling, really liking this interview) I appreciate that. One final question: Why should we hire you, out of all of the candidates for this position? What makes you a particularly ideal choice?

P: (to self, at first) Why should you hire me… why you should hire me… (raises voice, stands up, begins a musical song-and-dance number, HM is freaked out a bit) Why you should hire me? Oh, Why you should hire me! My name is Jeff and I’m a qualified guy – I’m a real team player and a real fast learner, oh! the reasons you should hire me…

(lighting switch to focus on NARRATOR)

N: Did you catch it? That was a tricky one… but important. Never sing songs or perform dance routines without being asked. (to audience) Of course, you won’t make all of these classic mistakes in your interview—not after this presentation! Hoho. Remember, it’s good to display your talents, but sometimes you can go too far! Make sure to gauge the feel of the room before you stand to perform, and remember that the volume of your voice should reflect the size of your audience. This next scene is the last one. There are at least 3 things wrong… try to see if you can identify all of them! (NARRATOR may exit the stage at this time)

(lighting switch to focus on DESK: PROSPECT is now wearing flip-flops and drinking loudly, but not arrogantly, from a slurpee/equivalent. There is now a big “Less Than Jake”/equivalent sticker on his briefcase.)

HM: (kindly hinting that prospect is not going to be offered the position.) So… Jeffrey. Jeffrey, Jeffrey—thanks so much for coming in to interview for this position.

P: I was afraid that was going to happen.

HM: Ah… yes? What?

P: (voice increasing in volume, as he calls someone from the next room)

Yes. And I think there is something you and I could discuss. Seriously. Isn’t there.. (shouting)

(enter FORMER EMPLOYEE, who for the rest of the scene does not speak, but looks quite pleased with him/herself for being empowered to ‘stick it’ to his/her former employer.)

HM: J… Jordan? What… what’s going on?

P: Yes, Jordan. You remember him. You laid him off, two months ago. Well, that wasn’t a very good idea, was it? Jordan was your network administrator. Jordan left himself a back door. (FORMER EMPLOYEE takes a floppy disk/CD/USB stick out of his pocket and waves it menacingly.) Jordan can bring this company down right now. He has already started transferring your money into several private Swiss bank accounts. He knows how to disable your security system. (rising intensity of speech, excitement. HM is FREAKING OUT. FORMER EMPLOYEE is quite proud.) He knows every little shortcut and every mistake this company has made in the past 15 years, and he knows which governmental department to report to. You’re over, Andy… you’re over. Because Jordan here can bring you down. He’s dangerous. He’s powerful. (PROSPECT and FORMER EMPLOYEE share a meaningful humorous nod). And he’ll do it… if your shoddy HR practices treat me the same way they treated him.

HM: What is WRONG with you! You’re insane!

P: I’m insane? Me? You’re insane! You’re too scared to hire me because I interview poorly, have some typos in my cover letter, and can’t demonstrate competence in marketing or any related field, from previous employment, educational transcripts, or basic questions. Really? ME? I’m insane??! Well now you have no choice, do you?

HM: (PROSPECT, throughout this speech, affected by the criticism… beings to whine/eventually breaks down to a sobbing cry, interrupting HM, who nevertheless continues his beratement. Jordan looks disgusted.) No… I suppose I don’t have a choice… There is no way I can offer you a marketing position. Or any position. You have no practical experience. You should have gotten an internship during college, or… I don’t know… created a portfolio? Gone to class? Listened to your teachers? What have you been doing? How do you expect to be employed? And now you’re trying to BLACKMAIL me? Really? This company has more lawyers than your little action-movie-watching brain can even comprehend.

P: Waaaaa!!! But I wanna have a job!!! Mommy….

(FAMILY MEMBER bursts through the door)

FAM: Oh, Jeffey. Poor wittle Jeffey... I heard you crying from the waiting room… do you need a tissue, baby? (wipes the tears off of PROSPECT’s face with a tissue from her purse) Mommy loves you. Did this mean man tell you you couldn’t work here? (turning to HIRING MANAGER)… you should be ashamed of yourself. Look what you’ve done to him. Jeffey is a positively brilliant boy. He can do anything he sets his mind to.

HM: I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t offer him…

FAM: Well then… he doesn’t want to work here anyway. Do you, Jeffey? (taking PROSPECT’s arm and leading him toward the door.) We’re going to find somewhere nicer for you to work, Jeffey. And you can just live in your old room in the house until you find a job. (walks out the door, yelling back at HM) Goodbye, Mr… Andy. And NO thanks. Don’t call us! We’ll call you!

(HIRING MANAGER and FORMER EMPLOYEE share bewildered looks)

(fade to black).

Musicals

Here's a video I finally got off my camera... of me, dad, and Aubrey playing one of my songs at dad's concert a couple months ago. The quality of video's a little low, and I have a "forgetting a line of a song I myself wrote" moment in the middle... but it's fun. I like listening to myself with a laugh track (if only I had one in real life...)

In the shadow of the giant basket

There is a town, just east of Columbus, a quaint little place, where people sit on their stoops and greet you as you walk by... where the Church is covered in vines and its parking lot is full on a Sunday afternoon... where main street sees people in their gym shorts--couples, moms and sons, groups of gossiping women--taking a stroll through the center of town.

But there is something different about this little Anytown, USA. Look up, at the decorative banners hanging from every telephone pole. Take a closer look at the bronze statue of children outside the library. And read at the signs outside every store on this quaint little street::
Dresden, Ohio, is all about baskets. Old baskets, new baskets - little baskets, and giant baskets.

A short drive away from the basket-y downtown is this, the World's Largest Basket. The huge basket replica is actually a 7-story office building (taller if you count the handle) which serves as the headquarters for the Longaberger basket company.

Longaberger Baskets started over 100 years ago in Dresden, which can't stop celebrating its basket-y heritage. In fact, this area also is home to the world's largest apple basket (which does not contain even a single floor of offices), and apparently other large baskets. According to the internets, the founder of Longaberger baskets wanted all of the company's buildings to be basket-shaped, but after he died his daughters took over and vetoed those plans.

The world's largest basket takes its shape from the best-selling of the company's products. It would, appropriately, be a good place to bring a picnic - it has one of those lawns that is obviously manicured mostly to be looked at, but is quite comfortable to sit on as well. The building is not incredibly well-maintained; the rivets are rusting and the paint on the 150-ton handles is chipping - but it can still strike awe into the hearts of any who are relatively easily awe-strucken.

My visit to basket country was something special. Not only did we get to experience the majesty of novelty architecture; we also ate some potato skins at a restaurant with place mats that advertised an upcoming county fair, and included the schedule of near-daily tractor pulls. Would that I could make this stuff up.

(more about Longaberger baskets on wikipedia)

Embarassing Law Enforcement Vehicles

Tonight Kate & I went to dinner at Easton, a great big outdoor mall place outside Columbus. We ate at a fun French restaurant.
Our waiter was funny - he recommended to us about half the dishes on the menu, one by one. He forgot to bring Kate lemons for her water--3 times. But he smiled. That's important.
After dinner, we walked around and window-shopped in all the closed shops. Kate sews, so she got ideas from the "spiffy" (one of her favorite words) dresses and tops at Anthropologie.

After a pleasant stroll, I realized I had locked my keys in my car.
I called AAA (the first thing they ask is "are you in a safe place?" I think that is really a very good idea.). It's funny, because we're doing a show at work about safe driving, I've been calling AAA at work, getting their central office, and then getting transferred to all kinds of local offices. The same thing happened tonight, just in the customer end, not the publicity end.

Then Kate suggested that we try to find mall security. And amazing things happened.

Kate pushed a blue light**.. and
We were rescued by a mall cop in a Smart Car**-
who didn't have a flashlight,
so he called for backup.

His backup was a police cruiser,
and a man on a Segway**...(with a helmet, of course)
who came rolling up together.
The Segway mall cop
did loops and turns throughout the parking lot.

They were funny guys. It's a good thing my passenger side window doesn't close all the way... that made it a lot easier to unlock the door..
It was an awesome rescue. And I'm going to remember my keys from now on.

**I stole these pictures from the internets

Updates have been lacking

Hey guys - here are some "fruits of my labor" - you can listen to the radio show I've been doing research for here:
http://www.wosu.org/radio/radio-open-line/
And watch the TV show I've been running prompter for here:
http://www.wosu.org/cotr/

We had a birthday party this weekend, and I made a banana pudding for dessert. It was neat. I have been taking pictures and all, but my camera is lacking a charger, so I haven't been good about putting pictures on-line. I will update well soon, I hope. Anyways, call me if you're curious.

Text of David Fanning's "American BBC" speech at Aspen

This is the text of a speech Fanning gave during a "What's the Big Idea?" session at the Aspen festival. I was curious about his ideas after reading a brief description on the Atlantic's blog, but couldn't find more complete information. Once I tracked down the video, I decided to transcribe his speech so I could show it to some co-workers who don't have time to watch the video.
In this address, Fanning proposes what some are calling an "American BBC," a public-broadcasting solution for the future of journalism. The video from which I got this text is here.

Text of David Fanning's "Big Idea" speech at the 2009 Aspen Ideas Festival: June 29, 2009 : The “American BBC ” proposal

My name is David Fanning, I'm the founder and producer of the PBS documentary series "Frontline". I've been thinking about the great media crackup. And here are three ideas: one that works, one that doesn't work that well, and a big new idea.

The idea that works is called public broadcasting. If for no other reason, than every year, the Roper Poll finds PBS as the public institution most trusted by the american people, by a long way. Well above the nearest: the courts of law, the schools, the press.

The idea that doesn't work that well is Public broadcasting. Public television has some very good programs and I say that because many of my good friends are in the room who make them... but it always seems to be at war with itself. And I don't have to tell you about "Yanni at the Acropolis", and all those pledge programs. Public radio has had a great deal of success but they are also seeing the difficulties of growing their audience in this new on-line video-centric world that we now live in: which is why I come to my big, new, "public media" idea.

I believe we have to re-orient public broadcasting, especially television, around journalism as its central mission. And to make that change happen, we have to build something new, on-line, in the space between radio and television. This is a new journalistic entity. An independent, non-profit media starter...(I don't have a name for it yet... just think, "the new big idea"..) I'm convinced we could immediately attract a collection of the best reporters and editors and, of course, a new generation of on-line journalists and bloggers. And then if you add the assets of public radio and television--the archives, the podcasts, the video programming, the deep web content we already have--if you do it right, if you give it enough gravitational weight, it will change the ecology of public broadcasting, create a whole new emphasis in our programming.

We would set up a kind of a feedback loop. We'd use the power of broadcast to drive audiences to this new on-line journalism. We could curate and edit and link to the other new public media efforts like the non-profit investigative units, the public insight networks, and you can see the outlines then of a powerful new journalistic enterprise.

This is a selfish ambition. This is something I want for "Frontline". I want to be a part of it because I no longer want to do this work alone. I want to be part of something bigger. To work with other people who set the bar high, who value fairness, intelligence and curiosity, and want to produce smart, tough, and literate journalism.

This isn't like any other starter, because it has another extraordinary asset: a network of hundreds of local stations and community connections.You know, journalism needs geography. It's done in a place. In many cities, with newspapers in freefall, journalists are trying to put together and create on-line journalism
this is the opportunity for public broadcasting, to give them a home. Make a partnership, a new independent entity, a local one: to take aim at city and the state house, follow the money, get back to the people's business. And of course as part of the network, the best of those stories become part of the national conversation.

Now, there's a reason to fund-raise and pledge. "Charlie Rose at the Acropolis". Seriously, that's the part of this big idea that really works. This has a business plan. People give to public broadcasting because it is a civic trust. And because the government treats it as a great public institution. No one else has forged that kind of paying connection with such success. If you count inprivate philanthropy as well you have a business plan. You have an existing membership-driven, publicly supported, non-profit model for enterprise journalism.

That's my big idea. We'll need the attention of congress and the Administration. There will be changes and fights over funding and governance, setting aside of egos, and the creating of unprecedented partnerships. But it's essential for the survival of the first idea, the one that works, the public trust and the very idea of public media.

Watch out for cut-out bears

I'm looking around the internet for places to work. I don't like all these "fellowship" and "internship" programs with their "deadlines" and such. Applying so far ahead of time, working so hard, getting recommendations, and waiting...and getting rejected... I am so over that. (which is really too bad, at this early point in my life...)

I did find a neat blog called "One Day, One Job" - which is designed to help recent College grads by showing some of the neatest workplaces out there, with special tips on how to get it.

I stumbled across some fantastic journalism on the internet today... check out this Ohio newscaster's spin on a fairly typical local story (it gets amazing around the 40 second mark).




also: "Without a Paddle" is an awful movie. (duh)

"The First Nerd President of the Modern Era"

John Hodgman nerds out with the President at the Radio and Television Correspondents dinner:

the speech is truly an important landmark in the current weird nerd culture (and fashion?) evolution.


Links:
Hodgman's twitter (oft-lauded as being one of the best twitters)
Obama says he's superman at Alfred E. Smith Dinner (08/08)
Apple's "Get a Mac" ads with Hodgman and Justin Long
John Hodgman videos from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
A blog post from two years ago from when I met John Hodgman (oh to be young)

Updates:
Hodgman on WNYC on Monday
John Hodgman's blog follow-up on to the event
Hodgman criticized for mispronouncing hobbit names (from Wonkette)

Good ol' Colbert

Rule of Threes

The Jurassic park dinosaurs are way less scary when they're just saying "HEEEEY!"

I screened calls for a Columbus public radio call-in show today. The software allows you to adjust an emoticon based on the caller's demeanor. Options include "crying, angry, and 'roll eyes'".

Lewis & Clark got a new website. It's a little annoying (for example, we used to be able to see all the information about a major at once, but now it's split up between a bunch of different pages).. but change is always difficult at first...

My radio name would be "Angie Jay." "Angela" always trips me up.

Today I learned that Hillary Clinton broke her elbow and has to get surgery.

I went for a jog tonight for the first time I can remember... ever. It was hard. But I lasted nearly 20 minutes! Nearly!

Is everyone else aware of the MC Hammer A&E TV show? Apparently that's what's up with the awesome flashmob hammer pants videos on youtube:

Second Day/First Weekend

Today at work I... tried my hand at writing a radio promo for an upcoming WOSU event, updated and reorganized an intranet site, and uploaded 30 historical photographs of a local meatpacking plant. I also found a really large map of a lot of Columbus' neighborhoods while doing some research.

The publicity has subsided, but Swine flu continues to spread. The first MA H1N1 death was reported today. A couple things on this topic - First: I know that there are many more disease outbreaks that are worse than swine flu, but this one is new and it's in the US, so I understand, and I don't think it's just media frenzy. Second: Boston.com's Breaking News Alerts are terrible. Important things happen in the world, but Boston.com sends me about 1-2 updates a week, and most to all of them are convictions or acquittals of local murderers. That's not really new news. The crimes are old, and relatively small (compared to wars, elections, etc) - not really going to affect my life so much that I need an e-mail alert. Yet I still subscribe. Alas.

Oh, and Iran's still going crazy about their election...

And I love the BBC World Service.

~
I'm trying hard not to ask anyone what a Buckeye is, and resisting the urge to Google it. It's Ohio State's mascot, and people are crazy about Ohio State, so Buckeyes are everywhere... whatever they are.

~
This weekend I saw a production in the park put on by Columbus' actors' theatre. They did "The Three Musketeers" and it was a lot of fun. I also went out to Easton to go shopping... they have a huge mall with lots and lots of stores and fun restaurants. My friend Kate and I ate at a sandwich place and then went to the Cheesecake Factory for dessert: I so seldom actually get Cheesecake there, because the meals are so filling. It was great!

Very first post

First day of work at WOSU!

Studio located at COSI - really, really cool science museum. Poseidon lives there! For reals! (not really)

Lunch at El Arepazo Latin Grill downtown. Omg. Delicious.

Did you know... Columbus has a replica of Christopher Columbus's ship the Santa Maria? It's true!

Watched the live taping of Columbus on the Record. I'm training to run the teleprompter! This was (I believe) my first experience in a live TV show control room. And it was awesome. People were funny.

Then we had ice cream cake. What in the world is a Buckeye?

Now I'm home, scanning as always the craigslist and checkin the weather.